Day 4: August 30, 2023

Diapers Changed: 5 (including 2 reusables and a leak)

At 10 a.m. this morning, Caleb went to the store to grab some diapers for Abigail. We ran out last night and used our reusable cloth diapers (which were far too expensive for me to give up on using at all . . . even though we can’t use them 24/7 because she’s got extremely sensitive skin!)

Unfortunately, about 30 minutes before our diaper hero returned, Abigail padded up to me and said, “Uh oh, peepee.”

Oh brother.

I laughed at her and asked, “What’s uh oh?” And then I saw the tiny pee puddle on our kitchen floor. She almost made it to the triumphant return of the super-absorbant disposable diapers. But not quite.

Apparently, there were two hurricanes on the way today. After the morning’s accident, I decided we could do with a little outside time (cleaning up messes out there feels less frustrating . . . I can’t blame the pine trees for dropping needles and cones).

It didn’t seem hurricane-y outside. Sitting on the porch watching Abigail play in the rain, there was no discernable difference from our usual mid-afternoon showers. I suppose the thunderstorms predicted in the evening and the tornado watch should’ve had me a bit concerned, but not today.

Today, the only thing I was worried about was consolidating.

And not the kind my brain is telling me I *ought* to be doing. Not gathering the clothes I plan to take with me to Texas or decluttering my kitchen cabinets. Nope.

Today I am allowing myself to create a centralized plan for my hobby and work efforts moving forward. Allow me to explain:

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved musical theatre. I’ve performed at church events and school musicals. I sang in choirs and my university jazz band. I learned in high school that in addition to performing, I also adore the directing side of theatrical productions.

A huge branch just blew down in my backyard. Should I stay on my back porch? Unsure. Carrying on.

There is a seed of creativity deep in my soul that God planted there that says: “Go and create. Go tell stories with music and theatre. Go help people escape their day-to-day lives and show them what life is actually about.”

Ever since I got married, I’ve pushed this desire down. I stopped listening to musical theatre showtunes because hearing them made me cry from the grief of giving up that part of me. Due to the pandemic, I had to stop performing. I supported Caleb’s country gigs and sang from time to time at those, but they didn’t scratch the same itch. Then we moved and I had my first baby. No time for music. Finally, here at our final duty station, we were at a spring choir practice when I heard a boy tell the choir director he might be missing rehearsals in June due to a musical he was auditioning for.

I didn’t even want to believe it. Could there be a musical near me that I could actually be a part of? Nosily, I went to him and asked for more details . . . it was Heathers and the theatre was 40 minutes away. I was in.

This was the first audition I’d had in years (I’ll definitely share details of this sometime in the future), but for now all you need to know is I got in, performed the role of Heather Chandler (aka the villain), and was immediately bit again by the theatre bug.

It’s truly a desire that has not diminished no matter how hard I’ve tried to ignore or starve it. 

And then this past spring I had the incredible opportunity to direct my first high school musical Fiddler on the Roof (while pregnant with our second, Elizabeth). I felt so aligned with God’s design for me. The planning, the music direction, even the choreography was a joy (I am absolutely not a trained dancer so this was a surprise). The desire has solidified. So now, what to do?

I have this lovely blog, Graceful Catholic. I hope to share my stories and mishaps in motherhood with other ladies to encourage them in their vocation. For the past four years (as I’ve attempted to trample down my desire to pursue musical endeavors), I’ve been working in the online business and marketing space. Surely I could make more money for our family doing that, right?

Right now, that’s what my brain is telling me. But my brain is also telling me that my number one priority is to God, then to Caleb and me, then to my babies, then to any other hobbies or work God places on my heart to do.

So why not fully trust Caleb to be our sole provider (which he’s been doing anyway with a tiny bit of supplementation from me)?

As long as he’s on board, I plan to move ahead with my desire to pursue musical theatre. Caleb can be my fundraiser as I nail down what I’ll be doing! 

My ultimate dream is to form a theatre company that puts on professional-level shows and trains actors (young and old) to tell compelling stories through music and drama.

If you’ve never read Pope Saint JPII’s Letter to Artists, you really ought to. It’s incredible and discusses how our lives are this big creative work that’s just a snippet of what God did in His creation.

I’ll stop writing now. Babies are calling.

“With loving regard, the divine Artist passes on to the human artist a spark of his own surpassing wisdom, calling him to share in his creative power.”



P.S. The hurricane missed us by miles, so we only had big wind gusts and slight drizzles.

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