Is two months postpartum too soon to be super bummed about my weight?

The day after giving birth, I felt 20 pounds lighter (and probably was!)

In the first couple weeks postpartum, I shrunk from 200 pounds all the way down to 160 (whoop).

But now two months later, the poundage dropping has slowed. I’m just not sure what to do with this tummy and thighs. To be honest, weight has never been something I struggled with. Growing up, I was much more concerned about how *ahem* unendowed my lady assets were. But I got by, peaceful with the thought that I was a skinny lady that God designed just as He desired me to be.

The best physical shape I was ever in required a lot of suffering and hardship: all for the middle school volleyball team. Each morning, the screaming coaches would mercilessly work us out (for what reason, I’m not exactly sure). We did burpees and crunches and leg lifts and a sprint exercise known as ‘suicides.’ The peer pressure was insane, so I didn’t quit as much as I would’ve loved to . . . except the couple times I ran to the bathroom to puke due to the lack of breaks or water or happiness.

Sure, I had burgeoning abs. But did I learn anything about sportsmanship or improve my volleyball serving technique? Not a chance. Needless to say, I quit volleyball the following season.

Marching Band & Musical Theatre

Fast forward to high school and I stayed in shape doing my favorite group activities: marching band and musical theatre. Seriously! Laugh if you must, but our calves were *FORMED* after all of that backward marching. Marching was cardio and balance training and we even did the occasional lunges as a little added visual finesse. Gotta get that General Effect (if you know, you know).

If you don’t know about the athleticism and discipline required in your average Texas high school marching band, just take a look at the best of the best: Drum Corps International bands.

It’s honestly incredible to me that you might have no clue what I’m talking about. Marching band was scorching summer mornings and crisp fall Friday nights. It was freezing fingers at a late-night away game followed by a 5 a.m. rehearsal before the big Saturday competition down in Austin, Texas.

As head drum major (aka conductor) in my junior and senior years, I learned what it truly meant to be a leader of my peers–getting mercilessly teased by those jealous of me and those who loved me, growing thick skin to carry out the band directors’ directives, and teaching and encouraging the best marchers and those who were falling behind. I earnestly miss it.

I’m not sure if that makes me a high school hero or what. But it’s one of the last times in my life where I felt part of something bigger than myself. Every Friday night, I conducted in the stands and was the face of our student organization to the community. We performed beautiful classical music including Holst’s “Jupiter” from “The Planets” and Dvorak’s “Symphony No. 9 in E Minor” (you don’t know that you know it, but you know it). In true high school marching band form, we also played some of the modern world’s cringiest and catchiest hits like “Halo” by Beyonce and even musical selections from, wait for it, The Hunger Games.

If you don’t believe me, there is proof of this on the internet. I will not be supplying links!

Without band, I never would’ve sang in my college jazz band and met my husband. Music truly is the most important hobby in my life . . . which is probably why I so deeply miss the days when it was engrained in my daily life.

Now, I find myself in a bubble of little servitude to my babies. I know that God doesn’t place desires in our hearts (like mine for community) without reason, so I continue to hope for the day that I can use my leadership and extraversion for good once more!

I’m probably waxing poetic about days gone by because I spent about thirty minutes at 4 p.m. today ripping the yearbook pages I care about out of my burdensome stack of yearbooks. I’ve carried them around for years, yet realized today that all I wanted to own anymore was the photos from what my friends and I enjoyed in school. To everything else I say, adios!

All of this might seem like a lot. Oh well. I did warn you that I am melancholic!

Don’t feel too bad for me, I’ll get to do music again soon and will find a health regimen to regain my weight. After all, it’s only been two months.

Besides, after throwing out those yearbooks, I feel a hundred pounds lighter!

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you choose to make a purchase through one of my links (at no cost to you). See my disclosure for specifics.